De Amicitiis Meis

I've decided that daily posting just isn't going to work for me under the present circumstances. There are too many distractions, and my computer isn't exactly easy to use at the moment. And I'm not that good at coming up with things to write about. Of course, it really shouldn't be "coming up with things". I should be writing when I have something to write about. I can't force inspiration, and if I were to try, it would just be crap. And I'm lazy. But on to the post:

Over Christmas break, I made a fair amount of money working at a consumer electronics retailer working on commission. I had the best dollar per hour sales for my store in the month of December, and I had one of the best dollar per ticket amounts, too. I kicked ass. I could sell to people. And I don't know how I did it.

Similarly, I have a lot of friends. Some really close friends, some pretty good friends, and a lot of people who always say "hi" and smile when they see me. There are even a couple of girls who have decided that I am their "favorite". I can meet people really well. And I don't know how or why.

These are basically the same issues. Selling to someone is basically making small talk and becoming their friend. Then you help them (as any true friend would) discover that they need something that you happen to be selling. That part isn't like friendship, but the initial meet and greet is. So I have the ability to do this pretty well, and it confuses me.

It used to be that I had no idea how to socialize. When I started 7th grade at a new school, it took me a semester and a half before I had even one good friend. Highschool was similar, though slightly better. My first year of college was par for the course. The first semester at Hillsdale - ditto. Few friends, and no way to meet people.

But now things have inexplicably turned completely around. I've been trying to think of something that changed between then and now. I don't feel like I'm a different person at all, really. I still have the same slightly off-kilter sense of humor. I haven't changed my mode of speech. My appearance... better, but not anything to write home about. So why and how have I become so much more sociable?

The possibilities:

I think that working retail has helped me get the basic patterns of conversation down. How to respond to certain things, what to say to start or stop a conversation, etc. It also is a huge help with meeting people. I got the balls to just go up to someone and start talking, and to make myself interesting enough to not get blown off. But of course, I've been working there for the past five Christmases, so that can't have been the whole reason for my new-found social skills.

Ah! But the Christmas of '03, that was the one where I got put in the good mood that lasted several months, and still resonates even today. Like a permanent good day. That made things a lot easier for me to be a good friend, as I was much more pleasant to talk to. It also helped out my sales, as I'm a lot less surly. I've blogged about this before, but I'm far too lazy to look up the post.

Then I suppose there was pledging. As cliche, stupid, or whatever as it may sound, joining a fraternity did change me. I have brothers on whom I can rely to keep me accountable for my stupidity, and encourage me if I'm not sure of myself. And it's a lot easier to risk making yourself look like an ass when you know you have a bunch guys who know you are one, but don't really care. That was a good move.

OK, I suppose I do know how I have so many friends, and how I sold so well. There hasn't really been a noticable shift at all, just a few things here or there that add up to me breaking out of my shell without realizing it at all. I went into this post worrying that it was all just a fluke, and I could lose it at any time. But I think that if I just keep doing what I've been doing, I'll do just fine where friends (and sales) are concerned. Yes, my day just got two notches better, and not just because it's now Friday.

Whenever people ask me "how are you doing" or some other such small-talk question, I always think about it seriously. It used to throw people off when I would say "not too well" or the like. Now people ignore the answer, but at least I'm telling the truth when I say that I'm having a great day.