I have gmail invites (again)! Seven, to be precise. It's pretty much first come first serve, with a bit of discretion on my part. So yeah, let me know if you want one.
Having re-read my last post, I realize that I was pretty toasted when I wrote it. Damn it was random. And on the verge of incoherent toward the end. But I stand by it. I think.
I have absolutely nothing of interest to say, so I'll just leave it at that.
Pulling Teeth
Why do I have to be drunk before I'm really honest? Am I scared of who I really am? Of what I've done? I've never done anything shameful. Today I've admitted to people that (1) I've never had sex and I'm happy about it, (2) I don't think I'd be strong enough to say 'no' if a girl wanted to have sex with me, (3) I am Christian (really), (4) I wasn't (really) one until December 2003, (5) pledging Sigma Chi really did make a huge difference in my life, and (6) I care about certain people, about whom I never really would have admitted I do care. I suppose anyone could have found these things out if they took the time to look, but it felt nice to get them all off my chest in a real conversation, not in just a self-indulgent online journal that a few people read every now and then.
Yeah, it was a good night. I told myself I wasn't going to get that drunk. But I dropped $1000 on tuition in the morning, so what the hell was another $15 for a fifth of vodka, lemon juice, and some sugar? Lemon drops are damn good... I was drunk fast, then I nursed it with beer for most of the night. I had an awesome heart-to-heart with Caity and Brandon, then later on I had the same with Dwight and Dan. Each one made me think about who I am, what I believe, and why I believe it. These are the things that people talk about when they talk about the college memories that last a lifetime. Actually, there were really three conversations like that tonight, though I was only directly involved in the two already mentioned. The other was with a girl who was over on the porch at The Cabin (Dylan and JC's house). She was talking (mostly bullshitting) and Dwight called it... not with more bullshit, but with reality. And she didn't know what to do. She basically backtracked without admitting that she was backtracking. I think it confused her that she couldn't win us over with her boobs. The dynamics of the conversation were fascinating to watch.
Now it's three in the morning, and I have class at 2:30PM. I'll be up in plenty of time and all, but I'm throwing my nicely arranged sleeping pattern into a complete disarray by mid-weeking and blogging. Oh fucking well. In other news, Gilbert quit his job and is using the new-found freedom to tour the world. Or southern Michigan. Which is the world to me. I really should get out to different places. I haven't been out of the Midwest since... the time I went to Boston. Which was basically driving to Boston, seeing the Phish show, then driving straight back. And before that it was New York. Which was basically bussing to NY, walking down Broadway, walking back, seeing the show, then bussing back home. I haven't seen much of the world. I can form my opinions about it from my sheltered life in Hillsdale College, but won't I just be reciting the party line which Fearless Leader feeds me? I mean, maybe it is right, but how will I know unless I go out and see shit for myself? But on the same token, how can I possibly know how life is everwhere? Graham Greene spent years in Vietnam, and only captured a small portion of the culture and general reality of what was happening there in the 1950s. How can I make informed decisions about foreign policy? How can ANYONE make an informed decision? The new president (whomever he may be) has his work cut out for him. And I really doubt that he'll do a good job. (Either Bush or Kerry). Bah humbug. Fuck politics. It's russian roulette with all chambers loaded.
Well, I've decided that this semester will be a good time to start looking for a girlfriend. (This was decided quite a bit before The Conversations of tonight). I've even asked friends for suggestions. But I've realized that I don't know for whom I'm looking, I don't know what to do once I find her, and I don't know how to keep her if/once I've got her. Hmmm... Suggestions welcome.
I'm going to bed.
Yeah, it was a good night. I told myself I wasn't going to get that drunk. But I dropped $1000 on tuition in the morning, so what the hell was another $15 for a fifth of vodka, lemon juice, and some sugar? Lemon drops are damn good... I was drunk fast, then I nursed it with beer for most of the night. I had an awesome heart-to-heart with Caity and Brandon, then later on I had the same with Dwight and Dan. Each one made me think about who I am, what I believe, and why I believe it. These are the things that people talk about when they talk about the college memories that last a lifetime. Actually, there were really three conversations like that tonight, though I was only directly involved in the two already mentioned. The other was with a girl who was over on the porch at The Cabin (Dylan and JC's house). She was talking (mostly bullshitting) and Dwight called it... not with more bullshit, but with reality. And she didn't know what to do. She basically backtracked without admitting that she was backtracking. I think it confused her that she couldn't win us over with her boobs. The dynamics of the conversation were fascinating to watch.
Now it's three in the morning, and I have class at 2:30PM. I'll be up in plenty of time and all, but I'm throwing my nicely arranged sleeping pattern into a complete disarray by mid-weeking and blogging. Oh fucking well. In other news, Gilbert quit his job and is using the new-found freedom to tour the world. Or southern Michigan. Which is the world to me. I really should get out to different places. I haven't been out of the Midwest since... the time I went to Boston. Which was basically driving to Boston, seeing the Phish show, then driving straight back. And before that it was New York. Which was basically bussing to NY, walking down Broadway, walking back, seeing the show, then bussing back home. I haven't seen much of the world. I can form my opinions about it from my sheltered life in Hillsdale College, but won't I just be reciting the party line which Fearless Leader feeds me? I mean, maybe it is right, but how will I know unless I go out and see shit for myself? But on the same token, how can I possibly know how life is everwhere? Graham Greene spent years in Vietnam, and only captured a small portion of the culture and general reality of what was happening there in the 1950s. How can I make informed decisions about foreign policy? How can ANYONE make an informed decision? The new president (whomever he may be) has his work cut out for him. And I really doubt that he'll do a good job. (Either Bush or Kerry). Bah humbug. Fuck politics. It's russian roulette with all chambers loaded.
Well, I've decided that this semester will be a good time to start looking for a girlfriend. (This was decided quite a bit before The Conversations of tonight). I've even asked friends for suggestions. But I've realized that I don't know for whom I'm looking, I don't know what to do once I find her, and I don't know how to keep her if/once I've got her. Hmmm... Suggestions welcome.
I'm going to bed.
Keep the Bugs Off Your Glass and the Bears Off Your Ass
I'm drunk and happy. I've moved in and so on. Our (Drenth and my) room is fucking sweet. (Or "pimp", if you're so inclined.) All of my friends are back. The barbeque was PERFECT. I got pleasantly drunk, met a few really good people, etc. Craig never showed. Asshole. All of my thoughts are really disconnnected right now because I'm drunk and watching Army of Darkness. This is my BOOMSTICK! Oh yeah. All sorts of sexual connotations come to mind. If only I could deliver. *sigh* But everything was awesome. I can't begin to describe just how awesome this entire day was. It's going to be a great semester. WOOHOO!!! Anyway, details to follow.
Disappearing Boy
So much to do. I need to finish up the Hillsdale Book Exchange, finish up the work on ffsearch that I want to do, install like a billion computers at work tomorrow, pack and get everything loaded into the van to take out to the 'dale tomorrow morning, and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. But I'm blogging instead. Which is rather silly, as I have nothing interesting to say.
Ummm...
I read The Bourne Identity the other day. Before I did, I had liked the movie based on it. It was at least a fun ride, with one of the best car chases ever. But now, having read the book, I can see why people really don't like the movie. I mean, people complained about LotR not being true to the book, but I assure you that LotR has NOTHING on the Bourne series. The book and the movie start at the same point. Then they diverge at a fairly narrow angle. That's OK, a lot of movies diverge from their books slightly. But the problem is that they continue to diverge at the same rate throughout their respective narratives, so that by the end, you look at the movie, then look at the book, and wonder what the fuck happened. And the book is Oh So Much better. I think I'm going to read the rest of the series if I have the time.
I also watched High Fidelity again the other day. As that movie is wont to do, it re-kindled my enjoyment of Top-5 lists. So, without further parley: my desert island, all time, top 5 favorite songs of all time, in alphabetical order by artist:
Sleep the Clock Around by Belle and Sebastian
Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits
One by Metallica
Down With Disease by Phish
Where Is My Mind? by The Pixies
Of course, this list is subject to change without notice.
I guess I have more to talk about, but none of it is interesting, so I'm just going to stop now.
Oh, and:
2 Days Remain
Ummm...
I read The Bourne Identity the other day. Before I did, I had liked the movie based on it. It was at least a fun ride, with one of the best car chases ever. But now, having read the book, I can see why people really don't like the movie. I mean, people complained about LotR not being true to the book, but I assure you that LotR has NOTHING on the Bourne series. The book and the movie start at the same point. Then they diverge at a fairly narrow angle. That's OK, a lot of movies diverge from their books slightly. But the problem is that they continue to diverge at the same rate throughout their respective narratives, so that by the end, you look at the movie, then look at the book, and wonder what the fuck happened. And the book is Oh So Much better. I think I'm going to read the rest of the series if I have the time.
I also watched High Fidelity again the other day. As that movie is wont to do, it re-kindled my enjoyment of Top-5 lists. So, without further parley: my desert island, all time, top 5 favorite songs of all time, in alphabetical order by artist:
Sleep the Clock Around by Belle and Sebastian
Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits
One by Metallica
Down With Disease by Phish
Where Is My Mind? by The Pixies
Of course, this list is subject to change without notice.
I guess I have more to talk about, but none of it is interesting, so I'm just going to stop now.
Oh, and:
2 Days Remain
Nitro
I've been busy. I helped Dan "remodel" his room, and I finally got the Hillsdale Book Exchange up and running. At the same time. I would take a break from painting, go into Dan's old room, write some code, then take a break from coding and go help Dan paint. It was a crazy time.
People are starting to trickle back into town. Dan, Trimbach, etc. It's cool. But it was also kinda fun to have the whole campus to myself. I would wander around while on my way to fix a computer or printer, and imagine what the future might hold. Now people are back and reality sets in:
Imagination: I'll get good grades this semester. Reality: Nope, talked to my English professor (Justin Jackson, who guest taught in my English class last semester) and it turns out we read a lot in English, and I sure as hell can't motivate myself to read that much. And I know I can't do the studying required for a foreign language, so Latin's down the tube.
Imagination: Maybe I'll meet a girl this semester? Reality kicked in when the football players got back in town. Nuts to that.
Imagination: I'll make some money this semester. Reality: Pfff. People being back reminds me just how much money I spend when friends are around. Dan payed for most of everything this weekend, yet I still managed to go through like $50. I spend money at a rate of n+1 dollars per day, where n is my earning potential. Not only that, but I owe my parents a couple grand for tuition. Bah.
But it's all silly. I can get the grades. I just need to do the work. Saying "I'm incapable of motivating myself" is so full of logical flaws that I feel stupid for even saying it. And I can get a girl. I just need to ask one out. Funny how that works. And the tuition money isn't even that much of an issue, as I already have half of it. And enough left over to pay for dues. And I don't have a credit card. In fact, I don't even know why I'm worrying. Force of habit, maybe? A throwback to the days when I was a sad, depressed, melodramatic basket-case? Fuck that.
I'm at work, so I can't type for long. And I can't think of what to say from here. I've typed myself into a corner, to mix my metaphors.
Oh! That's right: A week from today, summer is officially over. I move into the house next Friday. Damn good. The countdown ensues...
7 Days Remain
People are starting to trickle back into town. Dan, Trimbach, etc. It's cool. But it was also kinda fun to have the whole campus to myself. I would wander around while on my way to fix a computer or printer, and imagine what the future might hold. Now people are back and reality sets in:
Imagination: I'll get good grades this semester. Reality: Nope, talked to my English professor (Justin Jackson, who guest taught in my English class last semester) and it turns out we read a lot in English, and I sure as hell can't motivate myself to read that much. And I know I can't do the studying required for a foreign language, so Latin's down the tube.
Imagination: Maybe I'll meet a girl this semester? Reality kicked in when the football players got back in town. Nuts to that.
Imagination: I'll make some money this semester. Reality: Pfff. People being back reminds me just how much money I spend when friends are around. Dan payed for most of everything this weekend, yet I still managed to go through like $50. I spend money at a rate of n+1 dollars per day, where n is my earning potential. Not only that, but I owe my parents a couple grand for tuition. Bah.
But it's all silly. I can get the grades. I just need to do the work. Saying "I'm incapable of motivating myself" is so full of logical flaws that I feel stupid for even saying it. And I can get a girl. I just need to ask one out. Funny how that works. And the tuition money isn't even that much of an issue, as I already have half of it. And enough left over to pay for dues. And I don't have a credit card. In fact, I don't even know why I'm worrying. Force of habit, maybe? A throwback to the days when I was a sad, depressed, melodramatic basket-case? Fuck that.
I'm at work, so I can't type for long. And I can't think of what to say from here. I've typed myself into a corner, to mix my metaphors.
Oh! That's right: A week from today, summer is officially over. I move into the house next Friday. Damn good. The countdown ensues...
7 Days Remain
Staring at the Sun
My brother bought Doom III yesterday. He apparently walked into an EB somewhere, and at that moment the store had just found out one of their pre-orders had been cancelled, so they had an extra copy. He of course jumped on the opportunity, and managed to get the game before it was officially released, and with a special action figure that was supposed to be for pre-orders only. The game is awesome. But what's even more awesome is this comment on slashdot:
Re:Quake3 engine open-source? When? (Score:5, Informative)
by John Carmack (101025) on Wednesday August 04, @03:13AM (#9876519)
By the end of the year. There are still a lot of higher priority things, but it is coming soon.
Hopefully punkbuster will keep the source release from having any negative impact on the player community.
John Carmack
_____________
Bwah! Quake III is going to be open source. Obviously it's no where near state of the art anymore, but it can run on any computer put out in the past 3 years, and it can still look very pretty (see Jedi Knight II for an example). I can see this being quite interesting all around.
Continuing on the open sourced games thread, I saw an article on Newsforge about Doom III being open sourced from the start. I have a few thoughts about this. First of all, the author makes no distinction between the engine (which is the only part of any of the Quakes that has or will be open source) and the game files (which is what makes the game what it is, and will never ever be open source. Fortunately for the author, the game released with the Doom III engine is more than just a tech demo (as Quake III was), so his suggestion isn't completely and utterly stupid, but it must be pointed out that the majority of the money that id made from Quake III was from licensing the engine to other companies. This isn't an option if the engine is open source. What the author is suggesting is that id thow away most of its revenue and depend solely on the sales of Doom III itself. Unless he means that they should also open source the game files, in which case he is suggesting that id throw away all of their revenue. I'm sorry, but I have to go into capitalist mode here and ask "what the hell is the incentive for making games then?" I mean, obviously they do enjoy doing it, but you can't just do things that you enjoy all the time unless it's going to make you money. The system they have now, where they make a good bit of money off of the engine, then open source it, is an excellent system and should be noted by other software companies (ahem, Microsoft), but to suggest that they should open source it from the start and not try to make any money off of it (especially since it's a game, and they can't sell support contracts for it) is downright stupid. End rant.
I had to get that off my chest while it was still fresh. I'm at work, so I have to go now.
Re:Quake3 engine open-source? When? (Score:5, Informative)
by John Carmack (101025) on Wednesday August 04, @03:13AM (#9876519)
By the end of the year. There are still a lot of higher priority things, but it is coming soon.
Hopefully punkbuster will keep the source release from having any negative impact on the player community.
John Carmack
_____________
Bwah! Quake III is going to be open source. Obviously it's no where near state of the art anymore, but it can run on any computer put out in the past 3 years, and it can still look very pretty (see Jedi Knight II for an example). I can see this being quite interesting all around.
Continuing on the open sourced games thread, I saw an article on Newsforge about Doom III being open sourced from the start. I have a few thoughts about this. First of all, the author makes no distinction between the engine (which is the only part of any of the Quakes that has or will be open source) and the game files (which is what makes the game what it is, and will never ever be open source. Fortunately for the author, the game released with the Doom III engine is more than just a tech demo (as Quake III was), so his suggestion isn't completely and utterly stupid, but it must be pointed out that the majority of the money that id made from Quake III was from licensing the engine to other companies. This isn't an option if the engine is open source. What the author is suggesting is that id thow away most of its revenue and depend solely on the sales of Doom III itself. Unless he means that they should also open source the game files, in which case he is suggesting that id throw away all of their revenue. I'm sorry, but I have to go into capitalist mode here and ask "what the hell is the incentive for making games then?" I mean, obviously they do enjoy doing it, but you can't just do things that you enjoy all the time unless it's going to make you money. The system they have now, where they make a good bit of money off of the engine, then open source it, is an excellent system and should be noted by other software companies (ahem, Microsoft), but to suggest that they should open source it from the start and not try to make any money off of it (especially since it's a game, and they can't sell support contracts for it) is downright stupid. End rant.
I had to get that off my chest while it was still fresh. I'm at work, so I have to go now.