In my brief stint in Kansas City last week, I was farther west than I've ever been in my life. Realizing this also makes me realize how little I get out. I mean, I'm not saying that you haven't lived unless you've seen the west coast (though I have been told such and similar). But I have travelled very little, and I very rarely leave the bubble of friends which I have set up for myself. This affords me comfort, but occasionally I wonder if there might be more out there.
I thought about going on a solo road trip, where I would meet new people, and I would be free to act however I wanted, to be whoever I wanted. But I don't really have the money to do something like that until after college. Or the balls. I would just choose a highway and drive on down it. Not an interstate, but something like U.S. 41, which goes from Copper Harbor, MI down to Miami, FL. Two lanes, with speed limits never exceeding 55mph, and stoplights and stop signs. Easy to travel, and easy to find people who aren't quite so affected by the mobile culture that you find everywhere within 5 miles of an interstate - fast food and supermarkets, etc. Places where people actually talk to you, and you can really try different things. Different ways to express yourself, different ways of carrying yourself.
I've always like accents, and I practice them to myself when driving solo. Sometimes I develop entire personalities around a voice. Of course, it never sticks well enough in mind to be kept beyond the drive where I develop it, but on this dreamed-of adventure, it would be no big deal - cook something up before the next town, try it out, then forget about it as I drive toward the next town and the next person to be.
As you might be able to tell, I've thought a lot about this.
Of course, what is so liberating about acting like a different person? If it really is such a good thing, and something that I dream about, do I have find something wrong with the person I am now? And if so, why do I need a new audience to change myself? Don't I have the balls to change what I don't like about myself in front of everyone I already know? Why do I need to run away to do it. Yeah, that's it. I'm actually being more ballsy by staying here and facing the problems I have with myself head on, without flinching for the sake of all of the people watching and wondering. I'm not a chicken for deciding to avoid such a trip.
Of course, this all falls apart in light of the fact that I'm actually quite happy with who I am right now - I just want a breath of fresh air, and experiment, an adventure. And such a trip, acting as different people, affords a cheap and easy escape. Just me, my voice, and my wits. And my wallet. And my phone, just in case.
So why haven't I done it? Why don't I do it? Well, I suppose, once again, that I didn't think it through all that carefully. And I have real trouble with spontaneity. But if I plan it now, it won't really be spontaneous, will it? So, here we go: this coming spring break, I will go on a solo road trip. There, now it's planned. I suppose that the only real danger is that I start being spontaneous before next spring.
No comments:
Post a Comment