The Benefits of Open-Source Software

A friend wrote this a few days ago, directly inspired by a conversation we had a few years ago. Nominally, it was written about someone else, but it is just as easily applicable to me. I suppose all of us Linux crazies are all alike...

The hot, dry Texas wind rolled lazily through the window of his high perch. Sweat was pouring down his face in torrents now, but he no longer cared. Quickly he chambered another round into his M50 sniper rifle, and taking only a moment to pull back his mullet, lined up his next shot in the scope. The radio crackled as one song ended and the next one began: a track by Lynyrd Skynyrd. The sweet strains of Freebird filled the clock tower - how very appropriate. Overhead the new helicopters whumped and filmed, while below a motley detachment from the university police department tried to break into tower. [He] chuckled to himself and took another pull from his bottle of Southern Comfort. Amateurs. He would show them, he would show all of them. In a bold move he tossed the rifle aside and stood up to taunt the circling helicopters. “YOU CLOSED-SOURCE COCKSUCKERS!” He bellowed. “OPEN SOURCE IS THE WAVE OF THE FUCKING FUTURE! EMBRACE IT OR DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS!” With that he let loose with a wild rebel yell, flipped the helicopters the bird and shouldered an AGM-114 Hellfire anti-air missile with a Linux penguin crudely drawn on the nose cone. As he sighted it on the now wildly evading helicopters, he couldn’t help but laugh. They would learn. One way or another they would learn the benefits of open source software.

In case any of you were wondering, there is no way that this fictional account will ever happen... I hate mullets.