I appoligize for the length of this post. The words just kept flowing. If you want to get the gist, read the last paragraph. If you want to wade through it all, good luck. With that word of warning, I present Acting, Empathy, and Hive Mind, or, Ill-Formed Thoughts on Individuality and Lies:
Acting is an interesting phenomenon. Or maybe not acting is actually more interesting. We all act all the time. We pretend to be happy when we're not, or upset when we're not. We pretend to be things that we're not, or we hide things that we feel. Even if you intend for people to know that it is acting (for comic effect or whatever reason), you're still behaving in a way that is contrary to how you feel.
Is this a good thing? I used to think that the world would be a better place if everyone were completely honest about everything. Where everyone always told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, all the time, and expected the same from everyone else. Now I'm not so sure. Maybe it would be a good thing, but really it's impossible to prove or disprove that it would be better or worse, because such a world is not only impossible to achieve, but (for me) it's impossible to imagine. If I were to tell people exactly what I thought of them, and they knew that I wasn't lying, I have no idea how they would react. I suppose that's by nature of being different people. And I suppose that that lack of knowledge about them is what makes me not want to reveal everything.
So there is a certain gap between every person, and because of that very gap, we are afraid to totally reveal ourselves. And possibly lessen the gap? I think that revealing how we feel or think to people would lessen the gap between people, the gap that is our inability to empathize completely, the inability to feel and think like the another person. Are we afraid of becoming more like other people? Perhaps we need our individuality. Empathy is all well and good, but maybe total empathy with another person would present all sorts of problems. Studying Milton's Paradise Lost, we are shown that it isn't the opposites who become enemies. It's the individuals who become too like each other. One tries to imitate the other, and does it too well, and is thrown to hell because of it. So we need our individuality. So that we don't get thrown to hell.
No, no... So that we don't fight the one who begins to steal our identity, the one with whom we empathize. For a while at the beginning of the semester, there was a kid who looked kind of like me (before I got my hair cut). At first, it was interesting to see people's confusion. But after a while, it got annoying when people started asking why I hadn't replied to them when they said 'hi' on the way to dinner. It was frustrating. How much worse would it be if someone empathized with me, understood me enough that when someone said 'hi', he could reply, and have a conversation, with the other person not realizing it wasn't me. I would lose out on a conversation that should have been mine. I would want my 'self' back.
But what if I could empathize with this person, too, and regain that experience? If everyone did this, it would be a hive mind. Without the ability to withhold some of the truth, to exagerate the truth, or to simply lie (in short: to 'act') humanity would be a hive mind. So when I said that I couldn't conceive of a society where no one acted, I lied. I simply hadn't thought it through.
So is a hive mind better than the sorry state of mankind as it is? I don't think so. Maybe we would do away with fighting, and everything anyone ever did would be for the benefit of all. But even such a prize would be too small for the cost of individuality. For the cost of me. Ha! See, it's human nature, and it's a self-perpetuating state of being. There is no way out of this mess that we've gotten ourselves into. A hive mind only works if everyone joins, and good luck convincing everyone to agree to give up their identity, even if there is no conflict. You'd need to do it by force. Like the Borg. And we all (or at least those who watched Star Trek) know how scary they are.
But there is one situation where total empathy should (ideally) exist. And the two shall become one flesh... Marriage is essentially the joining of two people into one. So there is supposed to be no acting between spouses. At least, not when there is a serious conversation. Don't hold back any of the truth, don't add to the truth, and certainly don't lie. But human nature again comes into play, and it becomes all but impossible for this to happen. But then again, they will become one flesh... But not one mind. So maybe lying to your spouse is OK? I don't know, and I don't feel like going there. Maybe another time.
I don't know if I've proven anything, or done any sort of good at all, but for what it's worth, I've clarified some things in my own mind. And to me, that counts for something. The Aesopian lesson to keep from all of this is that it's OK to act (in the "pretending" sense of the word). It's OK to not be yourself all the time. And it's OK to lie sometimes. Smite me now, I think I've just rebuked both popular culture, and fundamentalist Christianity. Where shall I turn?
2 comments:
What an interesting, and well thought out post!
What struck home to me most were the thoughts on why certain people can't seem to get along. Specifically, that opposites tend to attract, and people that are too similar can't stand each other. This was the root of the problems that Michelle and I had at the end of last semester. Basically; she and I were almost the same person throughout highschool and our first semester here. The problem with that was that the qualities we most hated in ourselves we also saw in the other person. Then, as we started to grow in different ways, we clashed constanly. It took an entire summer apart, with each of us having very different adventures and turning into seperate people for us to forget about the last sememester and move forward with a healthy relationship.
Ultimately, I agree with you completely; our individuality, that sense that we are alone in the world, is what makes us human.
Sometimes it's easy to be myself, sometimes it's better to be somebody else.-DMB
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